The Language of Smiles and Eyes and Laughter

Today began like most, with coffee and conversation on the little deck outside our kitchen door. We perused the property we are staying on for the perfect furniture to make our little covered corner a perfect sanctuary and found a few dusty leather and wooden handmade rocking chairs two small foot stools and a round cast iron table. I always travel with table cloths, extra linens and sarongs to drape over everything and after cleaning the furniture and covering the chairs with soft bright sarongs and the table with a happy green printed cloth our cozy corner was complete. Our dog, Deva, sits on a cushion on the ground between our rockers surveying the grounds for errant squirrels and pozotes, which look like a cross between an anteater and a raccoon, but are vicious with a big sharp hooked claw on the end of their feet. I have to be careful and make sure Deva doesn't chase down the wildlife. He's only 7lbs but he thinks he's all man.

Today we had every intention of going to yoga together, but ended up walking the beach, coming home and making love then hopping on the quad to run a few errands before coming back and going back to the beach. The tide was out and the tide pools were full of crystal clear water that reached my chin in some places while standing on my toes. The pools between the rocks are narrow and the bottom is soft sand. Today I could follow the channels between the rocks almost all the way to the mouth of the sea. I soaked for hours and played with three young girls who clung to me with complete trust sharing with me their beautiful smiles and happy brown eyes as I played with them in the water. We sang songs and floated together and when big sister Luna came to take them back to shore we had a group hug. Suspended in these prehistoric pools today I had the realization that this is indeed one of my most favorite places in the world; in that water, between those rocks, on that beach, under that sky.

Its strange to think that I'm feeling like I haven't found a rhythm here yet. I'm finding how different it is to be here with a partner and as lovely as that can be, I also have all these "ways" of being and doing here when I'm alone, which has been my experience here. So, I'm dropping the past...at least trying to. While I'm at it, can I drop my expectations too? Expectations about how much yoga I should be doing, how much time I should spend writing, playing music...why do I do that to myself?

I have no idea how things are going to unfold here  I own nothing, I have no commitments to anything except playing music here in the jungle twice a week for the next month and a tentative hold on a hilltop casa until April. To release any anxiety that arises when my mind starts asking, "what are you doing with your life?" I started thinking about everything that I am doing as a prayer.

"Hear me, I am offering my song here and my heart with the utmost trust that this is where I should be. As I move through my days here, guide me, show me where I can be of service... show me the way. Thank you."

I'm pretty sure today that meant holding the sweetest brown bodied girls in a crystal clear tide pool where the language of smiles and eyes and laughter prevailed.

Sinking In

As I sink into the familiar rhythms that guide, inform and inspire my daily life here, I am aware of how different it is to be returning to a place that feels so much like home to me with someone else. You see, for the past five years I have been traveling to this lush jungle village on the Guanacaste peninsula almost every year for months at a time, alone experiencing moments completely unburdened. Doing anything by yourself that is without fear and motivated by heart and passion, curiosity and love is like giving yourself a precious gift that can never be taken from you. Some of the most profound and joyous moments of my life happened here with only nature as my witness. "The joy of love is possible only if you have known the joy of being alone, because only then do you have something to share."

This time I am sharing my journey with my partner of 32 years, Dan and the newest love in my life, my fearless 8 lb. rescue dog, Deva Om. What I notice most for me is that this new experience in this most familiar place only requires one thing, more breath. Now I am not the only one to consider when making choices about the days journey...my rhythm and time need to make space for someone else's rhythm and time and the best way I know to make space for anything is to breathe.

We've fallen into a nice daily flow. Dan usually wakes before me as the howler monkey's beckon, Coffee is on when I roll out of bed and I wrap a sarong around me to join him on our little covered porch outside the kitchen door where there is a small table and two chairs. Deva sits on a cushion on the tile floor and we drink coffee quietly gazing at the endless varieties of flora and fauna surrounding us. Sometimes we each pull a few tarot cards that spark conversations about deeper things...longings, visions, questions.

This is the first time Dan has taken this much time and space for himself. I half jokingly told several friends before coming here that this trip would either make us or break us. I can already sense how important this is, for both of us. 

"Be"

Emma, my 19 year old niece who died suddenly just two weeks ago, had a document tacked up on her bedroom wall that included two columns; Life is About and Life isn’t About. Under each she outlined in great detail what those meant to her-  Life is about: Helping those who need it, Protecting the earth, Creating, Living for today and Loving. Life is not about: Being caught up in the past, Waiting around, Being selfish and Wishing things were different.

In her bedroom there was also wall space painted with chalkboard paint where she very artistically wrote, Be. I don’t know if it was her favorite word or her mantra, but I like to imagine that when she woke up each day in her bedroom full of visual and spiritual inspiration, she would see that word there and it would inspire her.

Today was a "Be" day here in Nosara. With the stress of last night’s gig behind me- it’s hard to believe I actually stressed about it.... it was relaxed, I did fine and people seemed genuinely appreciative- I gave myself permission to sleep late, staying in my dream state until thunderstorms coaxed me out of bed close to noon!

Moving with no plans,  just “being”, I prepared beans, rice, tomato salad and some kind of pumpkin for a later meal. Jane invited me to come on an afternoon outing so I hopped in the car with Jane and three friends and headed to the property of a man who runs a sort of superfood mecca from his home.

Driving in and around Nosara is not for the faint of heart. There are really no roads to speak of only stretches of gravel, dirt and mud riddled with huge holes and crevices. There are also no shoulders and at times it seems as if you’re going to topple right off into a roaring river or deep gulch full of who knows what. We spent about twenty minutes navigating this madness until we reached our destination.

Pulling into a lush yard full of tropical vegetation, coconut and banana trees, I noticed a huge organized pile of raw coconuts, looking like cannon balls, waiting to be processed next to a bunch of roots I couldn’t identify. Skeins of bananas in varying degrees of ripeness hung from the rafters and a refrigeration unit on the porch outside the entrance door held bottles of mysterious concoctions while clean floor rugs beckoned us to remove shoes and step inside.

Just inside the door there was a wooden table crafted from the trunk of a tree where we gathered to sample and taste todays offerings. There were juices fermented and fresh, good for cleansing and daily drinking, spicy roasted coconut, dried banana and guanybana, organic chocolate and delicate oils for the body. Behind the counter were floor to ceiling shelves stacked with jars and bottles full of mysterious ingredients. Glass fronted refrigerators revealed rows of bottled juices and potions. Bob Marley was everywhere, on posters and t-shirts hanging on the walls.  Thank you letters from school children filled an entire door.

As we gathered our purchases I toyed with the pronunciation of guanaybana, a tropical fruit loaded with vitamins and reported healing properties, which in Spanish sounds a lot like the word in the Muppet song, monomena (bu be ba dipee), so of course I had to sing it and was promptly joined by our host and we sang together joyously a few times through even though everyone else in the room had no idea what we were singing!

I left with six homemade juices, chocolate, dried banana, coconut and body oil and an appreciation for the wonders of the jungle and the people who carve out such creative existences here.

Back at home, Jane and I took Charlie, Jane’s amazing dog, to the beach for a walk and a game of throw the stick. I shared my dinner with Jane and now I am enjoying the complete quiet of the night save for a few insect chirps and random monkey howls.

Just Being.