Feelin' Good

I sing a song by Nina Simone called, “Feelin’ Good”. It is a simple song, not musically complicated, but the combination of chords, melody and especially the lyrics set this song apart from other blues songs in my opinion. The more times I travel around the sun the more important the lyrics to the songs I sing have become to me. The words need to resonate deep inside me before I will send them through my vocal chords and out into listening ears. This morning when I woke up I saw that the sun was shining. I knew it would be because on my walk home last night the sky was crystal clear with huge bright stars. “It’s going to be sunny tomorrow!” I sang as I skipped home. So even though I knew that the sun would be shining, it was a welcome sight after two mornings of rain. I made my tea and quietly settled into a rocker on the porch. Usually at home when I wake up I am in such a rush to get ready for work, make the 45 minute drive and hopefully arrive on time, that I rarely have time to transition from sleeping and dreaming to waking up to a new day. Today as I sat I just gazed all around me-my sight line almost to the tops of the banana trees-and marveled at the lush green life. Exotic blue birds with funny antennas coming out of the tops of their heads and long tail feathers like a pheasants flew and perched all around me. Two tiny brown birds with massive singing voices flew in pairs and transformed sticks into an undisclosed nest, huge moths bigger than my hand flew over my head. I started thinking about the words to the Nina Simone song, “Feelin’ Good”. “Birds flyin’ high, you know how I feel, sun in the sky, you know how I feel, breeze driftin’ on by, you know how I feel. It’s a new dawn and a new day and a new life for me and I’m feelin’ good”. A new life for me! What a wonderful way to look at a new dawn, a new day. I often hear the expression, “tomorrow’s another day”, but how about tomorrow’s another life? An opportunity to take stock of my life and change anything that “does not serve me”, as my yogi friend Michelle would say. The song continues on reflecting on how nature knows what the singer is talking about when she/he says, “And I’m feeling good”. The birds, the trees, the breeze, the scent of the pine all know because they are doing exactly what they were created to do-nothing more, nothing less- and it was totally apparent to me this morning as I watched the birds, the palms swaying, the monkeys picking berries in the tree tops. How do I know what I was created to do? The last line of the song says, “Freedom is mine and I know how I feel”. When I’m feeling good inside-feeling free and totally aware of that feeling- I think that I am on the right path. If I’m not feeling good-or free inside then something needs to change and if I can not change it then I must accept it. I can’t change the fact that my husband had an affair, but I can change the way I feel about it. I can honor the lessons, honor all the goodness that exists in him and use that knowledge to forge a new and deeper relationship with him and myself. And for the most part, it feels pretty good. I am finding that this experience is serving me and my life. It’s easier said than done, I know, but if I could just wake up everyday like today and live my life like a blank canvas waiting for me to create whatever I choose, then like today, I have a pretty good chance of “Feelin’ Good”.