Wave of the Day

I met a family from Charleston, NC who were having a hard time adjusting to life in Nosara. They arrived in the dark over extremely bumpy roads scared to death and after waking in the morning and checking out the village, they didn’t feel much better. “We’re spoiled”, the mom said. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that or what that really meant exactly, I mean, last night I tripped and fell into a muddy hole on the road and I haven’t had one hot shower in twenty one days, but I feel pretty spoiled myself! I made some small talk and went back to my writing. Her son approached, he looked to be about nineteen or twenty and I asked him if he went surfing today. He said, “Yeah”. I asked him smiling, “Did you get worked?” He replied, “It’s just so far to paddle out to the waves. I’m used to the east coast where the waves are right there.” He wasn’t into it. I wanted to say, “But if you paddle out, chances are you are going to ride waves much bigger and more consistent than on the east coast. The waves are good here practically every single day!” They’re just harder to get to. For me the most difficult journeys, the hardest challenges have led me to the greatest rewards. For some fear can be a big reason not to engage in a difficult challenge, and fear comes in all shapes and sizes-tangible and invisible, “It’s too hard, I might get hurt, I’m not going to make it, so-and so tells me I can’t do it, I don’t deserve it”. Maybe it’s not fear, maybe it’s apathy or indifference, “I don’t have to, I’m not going to try that, It’s much easier, less hassle doing it this way, I'm comfortable right here, It’s not worth it, It’s not going to happen anyway, I don't want to make waves, why should I?” Maybe it’s complete ignorance to any kind of challenge at all. As I sit here on the beach watching a group of people learning how to surf in the shore break- grown men way past 40 and a group of young women- I admire the tenacity of these budding surfers-the willingness to get up again and again and again after falling. I looked past them on the “outside” break and see poetry in motion, seasoned wave riders becoming one with the perfectly formed walls of water. Perhaps these learners in front of me will one day achieve what the surfers on the big waves make look so effortless. Maybe they won’t- but how will they know if they don’t try? I feel sorry for the young man pining for east coast waves. Didn’t he know how much stronger he would be after paddling out to these waves, unique to this place, every day? In my struggle to find balance in a marriage that was in crisis there were many times when I wanted to give up, to heed the advice of almost everyone close to me to “draw the line in the sand, give up and throw in the towel”. It was hard to be so vulnerable and broken hearted for so long. I’m pretty sure the easiest thing to do at that time would have been to cut and run. We had money at that time, property; a lawyer said I would probably receive alimony. I didn’t doubt my ability to find another man. But I knew the value of what I had in my relationship with Dan, our life together, our family and I was determined to ride this wave until it reached the shore. It was scary. I did not know where I was headed for along time. My reward is that I am still married to a man I’ve loved for over 26 years, my children are direct witnesses to this love, this relationship that is like real life, messy and hard, challenging and frustrating and at the same time wonderful and exciting, fun and adventurous. Talking with my friend Ali about this tonight she said every day there is a wave, some sort of challenge large or very small. She wisely added, you don’t even have to ride it if you don’t want to, just notice it and honor it. We continued talking about it and I wondered about just looking at a problem or conflict and not doing anything about it. Ali said, you have to at least get in the water and test it out and then hopefully make a wise choice whether to ride the wave or not. Now I’m going to look at the days challenges as the “wave of the day”! What’s your “wave of the day?”