Warrior II

I was wearing my V Warrior t-shirt when I burst into the bedroom where my husband of 22 years was in bed with another woman. V Warrior stands for Vagina Warrior. It was a souvenir t-shirt from a Vagina Monologue production that I co-produced in our community for Hotline, a women’s crisis intervention organization. It wasn’t a surprise to me. I knew what I was going to find as soon as I saw his car in her driveway, but I certainly surprised them as I walked right in, grabbing the sheets and tearing them off of the bed leaving them exposed. I never saw my husband move so fast, his hands covering himself like if I couldn’t see all of his nakedness it wouldn’t be true. I can laugh about it now. Five years ago on that 4th of July when everything started falling apart, in addition to writing “Independence Day” in my journal, I also wrote, “Tragedy + Time = Comedy”. And although what followed was a lot of pain and heartbreak, so much of my journey through that time became the greatest teacher in my life thus far. I was immediately thrust into a place where knowing and trusting my own heart was essential- and I fought, sometimes blindly for what I ultimately believed in. Virabhradra is the name of a fierce warrior, an incarnation of Shiva, described as having a thousand heads, a thousand eyes and a thousand feet, wielding a thousand clubs, and wearing a tiger’s skin. Virabhradasana II, Warrior II. This is the pose to practice when you want to feel powerful, grounded and calm. What speaks to me about this pose is that although there is energy and intention moving forward through an extended arm and a strong bent knee, the body is solid-grounded and steady on both feet, yet the heart is completely exposed and vulnerable-open- and that right there makes all of the difference in the world. I can be a strong fierce warrior woman, but if my heart is not open, if I am not somewhat vulnerable, I’ll never know the true joy of victory or the utter bitter sweetness of defeat.